Do you ever accept the invitation to rest and ponder?
I think you can tell when the loved-ones were serious. Many state the implicit invitation in writing.
“We really mean it! Have a seat.”
With others, it’s the careful landscaping or spectacular view that makes me feel welcome.
Unless the bench is old and frail, or occupied, I take a seat.
Be respectful. Use common sense and good judgement, but try it sometime. You’ll feel a very visceral connection. More than simply reading the words on a stone or even enjoying the beauty of a sculpture. This is personal.
Let me know what your experience was like.